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*** Kissing Women And Using Humor
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This article: Question From A Newsletter Reader:
Hey Dave!
I am an avid reader of your newsletters and mailbags ...this stuff
literally blew me away. I also have your e-book. I had never seen or read
any other "dating expert" use the word "attraction"...period! They never
mention it in anything they write yet it is the MOST IMPORTANT thing that
determines your success with women. Out of literally dozens of articles
and e-books from so-called "dating pros", the word "attraction" just
doesn’t ever come up! I even read in one e-book that to become a magnet
for women you need to get a golden tan. I was like: "What the hell? That's
not the key to attracting women you dummy! Besides, what if you cant
tan?!!"
When attraction is imminent, women try to be with you and chase you. If
attraction is not there, they make up excuses and try to avoid you. This
is so simple...yet so easy to understand but many guys who haven’t read
your material miss this vital point and thus waste time on women that
aren’t interested! Attraction is EVERYTHING! That is why anyone reading
this that hasn’t bought your e-book or your Advanced CD series should do
it IMMEDIATELY! It's definitely worth the investment. In fact it will pay
you back over the rest of your life because you will be so much better
with women! Don’t pay hundreds of dollars or waste time on the other
material that's out there... buy Dave's materials! Ok, Dave, I'm sure your
head has grown 10 times as big now and since I'm not getting paid for
making you a few extra sales, so I'll quit now! But really, buy the
stuff...it's excellent! It's things in there you have never heard of
before that is so critical to your failure or success with women!
Anyhow, that was my insight on how great your material is...now I have a
question about something I read in your mailbag previously that really
stood out to me. It was the one about the guy who said "Can I kiss you" to
a woman that was getting out of the car as he dropped her off. I thought
saying "Can I kiss you?" was wussified behavior? That didn’t sound like
something you can say without looking like a needy dork but the guy said
it worked for him and he got the kiss anyhow. Did I miss something here?
Explain that Dave. Also, have you learned of any other "Kiss Tests" like
the one on your site?
GT from Nashville
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, thanks for the shameless advertisement for my book and Advanced
Series. I'm glad you're having success with the material. I'd like to
comment on your observation that there's no one teaching guys about
ATTRACTION...
I noticed this exact same thing when I was first learning about how to
meet and date women. I took me probably two years of trying things before
I finally realized that there was something else going on with women that
NO ONE was talking about. Finally, I realized that this magic something
was an EMOTION.
Women don't meet men and say to themselves "Well, he's my physical type,
he has a good job, he dresses himself pretty well, and he looks like he's
good in bed... I think I'll TURN ON MY ATTRACTION for him..."
No way.
There's something that happens to a woman, usually in an INSTANT, that
sparks the "Chemistry" or "Sexual Tension" or "Attraction". And then, if
the man knows how to build that tension and AMPLIFY the EMOTION called
ATTRACTION that the woman is feeling, there's a very good chance that they
will get together.
If, on the other hand, a man does NOT understand this simple fact, and
more importantly, how ATTRACTION works, then no magic technique in the
world will work consistently for him.
I've learned that ATTRACTION is EVERYTHING. SO WHY HASN'T ANYONE FIGURED
THIS OUT?
Well, I have a theory about that, too.
In a nutshell, I think that because men are sexually attracted primarily
to LOOKS, they just ASSUME that women must be the same way. Us guys just
simply never take the time and energy to figure out what women are
actually attracted to... so we act like failures with women... and they
treat us like failures.
And many of the guys I DO know who are good with women don't realize WHY
what they do works so well. They just do what they do, and women are
attracted to them. Most of them haven't taken the time to figure out that
what they're doing is triggering the powerful emotion called ATTRACTION
inside of women.
To finish my thought on this, you're right.
No one talks about ATTRACTION... and that's a problem, because if you
don't "get" attraction, then it's going to be hard to "get" women to be
interested in you. Now, you asked a question at the end of your email.
You wanted to know if the guy who asked "Can I kiss you?" was being a
Wuss. OK, I'm about to share a VERY, VERY powerful tool to use when you're
interacting with women.
When I tell you what it is, you're probably going to say "That doesn't
sound important"... but IT IS.
Trust me on this one.
When you asked your question in the way that you asked it, you indicated
to me that you MISSED WHAT WAS GOING ON. You missed the point of the
question.
One of the things I tell guys to do is TEASE women. Teasing can mean one
of a couple of things.
Teasing can mean starting, then stopping, starting, then stopping... over
and over again. In this context it's usually considered a good,
pleasurable thing. For instance, if you kiss a woman gently, then pull
away... then do it again... then again... and you can tell that she wants
more, but you're not giving it to her, you're teasing her.
Also, teasing can mean "poking fun". An example would be saying "Wow,
those are some tall shoes. What, are you like three feet tall without
them?"
Think of how you used to tease girls on the school playground when you
were a kid. That's a different kind of teasing. Now, BOTH kinds of teasing
are great to use with women who you have a romantic interest in...
Let's talk about the "Can I kiss you?" example for a minute. As you might
remember, it went something like this:
He waited for a moment when it was clear to him that it would be OK to
kiss her. She wanted it. Then he
said...
Him: "Can I kiss you?"
Her: "Yes"
Him: "OK, I'll make sure to do that"
At this point, she said "Right"... and leaned in to kiss HIM!
What happened here?
What happened was a little bit of GENIUS. That's what happened. He was
TEASING HER. He was doing something that, at first glance was kind of
Wuss/Nice Guy. But remember, he had so much momentum built up, that this
little "slip" was perceived by her as OK. In fact, he had so much momentum
and ATTRACTION built up that she WANTED IT.
He says "Can I kiss you?", she says "Yes", then he TEASES her by saying
"OK, I'll make sure to do that".
Yea!
In that moment, she realizes that his Wuss behavior was actually a JOKE,
and that he was actually MESSING with her and teasing her. And at that
point she leaned over and kissed HIM.
Now, let me share one that I made up that I have used with women on many
occasions...
Let's say I'm out and I meet a girl walking down the street, and get her
email and phone number. We send a couple of emails back and forth, then we
get on the phone.
Because I'm always teasing and busting balls, I KNOW that she's enjoying
it and interested in me... so in that first phone conversation I'll say:
Me: "You know, I was telling my mom about you today"
Her: "Really?"
Me: <Pause... for effect> "NO, you dork! Why would I tell my MOM about
you? Get over yourself!"
Are you with me?
Remember, I've been being charming, Cocky, Funny, and unpredictable from
the start... and I KNOW that she's enjoying it. The tension is building,
even as we have our first phone conversation.
So I then say something that just plain doesn't fit ("I was telling my mom
about you today?"). She says "Really?" in a half flattered/half surprised
way, wondering what's going on. I then pause to build up the suspense.
As the pause is happening, and she's starting to think to herself "Uh oh,
he really likes me", I drop the "No, you dork! Why would I tell my MOM
about you? Get over yourself!" line. It's funny, confusing, and a HUGE
tease.
It usually gets a huge laugh... and it communicates that I not only "get"
what's going on, but I'm so confident that I'll tease her about it. Now,
this is what you might call an "advanced" move.
If you don't know how to tell if a woman is attracted to you, how to spark
attraction, how to amplify the attraction, and how to move from one step
to the next, you're just going to sound like a dumb ass when you say
something like this... because you'll say it at the wrong time, or you'll
say it to a woman who isn't very interested in you... which will make
things WORSE instead of better.
I hope you hear what I'm saying.
One of the GREATEST things you can learn is how to use SUBTLE humor with
women to IMPLY what you're thinking without actually SAYING it directly.
As I say in my book "Double Your Dating" and in my Advanced CD/DVD
Program, men take things literally and women are always interpreting...
they're always trying to figure out what everything you're saying and
doing "REALLY MEANS".
Communicating with women on a "sexual" level is a skill that you must
learn and develop... and thankfully ANY man can learn how.
Once you learn this new "language", you'll start to experience women in a
whole new way. You'll be sending and receiving signals in a language that
you never even knew about. It's fun!
 And the best part is that WOMEN WILL REALLY APPRECIATE and ENJOY the fact
that you know how to actually communicate with them.
You need to go back through these materials and pay attention to the
SUBTLE things that I'm saying, and start to really pay attention to the
details of how you communicate with women. You won't believe how much fun
you can have.
You will not find a better education on women and dating ANYWHERE... and
ANY price.
The eBook is here for download:
http://www.doubleyourdating.info/ebook
I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.
Your Friend,
David D. |
