|
*** Eye Contact And Women's Body Language
***
Dear Dave,
I just wanted to share a little bit of what your lessons have done for me. I
read your book and started concentrating on what I thought was my weak
points. I did as your book recommended and started picturing myself as the
cocky funny person I wanted to be. I even did the whole daydream practice
thing everyday. I work at a fitness center so I see lots of hot women all
the time. My biggest weakness is that I look away quickly after eye
contact is made. I decided that before I started trying to approach women
I would make it my goal for a couple of weeks to just make eye contact and
hold it until they looked away. Ok, here is the good part. After
practicing eye contact for a couple of weeks and doing the whole mental
exercise thing, I was at work one day working out after my break and was
practicing my eye contact thing between sets with this really hot girl
near the dumbbell rack.
I knew she noticed but it never bothered me cause I had no intentions of
acting. Well, I had to go over to get a set of dumbbells for my next
exercise and as I got close to where she was she suddenly turned around
and said "I have a boyfriend" and turned around. Normally I would have
kinda stood there in shock and said nothing but, I guess all that mental
practice paid off. With out even thinking or pausing the words just came
out. I said "Hey that's great I am happy for you. (Pause - and in a lower
tone) I know this is probably a major accomplishment for you but to the
rest a the world this is kinda normal so you might not want to go telling
every stranger you see." Then I just walked off with my weights to do my
sets. 5 min later she comes over to me and apologizes and asks for my
number. Turns out she didn't have a boyfriend but was just tired of being
picked up by losers while she was trying to do a workout. Thanks for the
pleasant surprise!
KAL
 David D.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Nice one.
Your letter is really a wonderful affirmation and summary of some of my
favorite concepts:
1) Read my book "Double Your Dating"
2) Actually use the material and mentally rehearse
3) Start from where you're at
4) Be Cocky and Funny
5) Show complete indifference
6) Use illogical Jedi-Level mind power to create ATTRACTION
First of all, your story would make no sense at all to most guys. They
would say "Yea, whatever. She was probably abused as a child and wants you
to be her daddy" or "Well, if I worked at a gym I could do that too".
Of course, you realize that this had nothing to do with either... this was
a result of you learning about how women work, then preparing, then taking
action. I couldn't be more impressed.
Now let's talk about some of the things that were happening that most
people would MISS when reading the story. You mentioned your exercise of
keeping eye contact until women look away. This is very powerful. I am
guilty of not addressing this issue more often, and I'm glad you mentioned
it here.
If you can learn this skill, it will communicate powerfully for you. Great
job.
You said "I guess all that mental practice paid off. With out even
thinking or pausing the words just came out."
This is the result of preparation and mental rehearsal. This wasn't
"luck". Even though the words were unique to the situation, the MESSAGE
was delivered clearly. By learning how to better communicate in the
language that women understand, you created magic.
And as for the words themselves...
You just gotta love saying: "Hey that's great I am happy for you. (Pause -
and in a lower tone) I know this is probably a major accomplishment for
you but to the rest a the world this is kinda normal so you might not want
to go telling every stranger you see" to a hot woman at the gym!
You INSTANTLY took a situation that would normally strip a man of all his
composure and personal power, and then REFRAMED her words in a way that
caused HER to look like the socially inept one.
Then you did something equally powerful:
YOU WALKED AWAY.
In effect, you busted on her, then PROVED BEYOND THE SHADOW OF A DOUBT
THAT YOU COULD TAKE HER OR LEAVE HER. Actions really do speak louder than
words... most guys would have messed up that situation by standing around
waiting for her to say something. You did the right thing by walking away.
When you combine all of these factors together, you get a totally
illogical outcome: ATTRACTION.
She realized that you weren't just some other loser who hoped to maybe get
a date by kissing up to her... you turned out to be on of the EXCEPTIONAL
men in the world who have more personal power than her, and one of the
even MORE exceptional men who also know how to create ATTRACTION.
This combination made her feel a feeling that you can't create by DECIDING
that you want it. It can only be created by TRIGGERING IT.
Finally, I'd like to comment on the fact that SHE asked YOU for YOUR
number. You realize that it's not typical for a woman to approach a man,
apologize, then ask for his number.
Women will often ask a man for his number just to get rid of him. But not
in a situation like this one. This was different. She apologized, then
told you that she's tired of being picked up by losers... then asked for
your number. This was, in effect, her telling you that she sees you
DIFFERENTLY.
All because of your eye contact, followed by a perfect execution of the
Cocky and Funny attitude, followed by an excellent physical demonstration
of indifference.
Again, to most men this would make no sense at all. If you consulted most
relationship books, they would argue that this type of approach would
NEVER work. I mean, men are supposed to "court" women, compliment them...
pursue them with gifts and favors, right?
Yea, right.
The problem is that the mainstream relationship books forgot to title the
chapter that suggests this kind of behavior "HOW TO BE THE WUSS WOMEN RUN
FROM" or "HOW TO CONVINCE THE WOMAN YOU DESIRE THAT YOU HAVE NO BACKBONE
AND WOULD PAY ANY PRICE FOR HER ATTENTION" or "SIMPLE TECHNIQUES FOR
GIVING A WOMAN YOUR REPRODUCTIVE EQUIPMENT ON A PLATTER".
 The question I have for you is...
CAN YOU PUT ASIDE YOUR PRE-CONCEIVED NOTIONS ABOUT WHY MEN AND WOMEN
"SHOULD" BE ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER LONG ENOUGH TO SEE WHY THEY ACTUALLY
ARE ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER?
And can you do what it takes to get yourself from where you are to where
you actually need to be in order to attract the kinds of women that you
would like to meet and date? It can be done, but you're going to have to
do it.
As I mentioned above, the first step is to read my book "Double Your
Dating". That's the best head start I can give you. Just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.info/ebook
I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.
Your Friend,
David D. |
